Create Your Own Recession Action Plan
The recession is taking its toll on everyone. It's easy to feel anxious, angry, or helpless in the face of the huge issues we're facing. Nearly everyone from the blue collar worker to the executive is anxious about their job right now. Taking action in your own personal life is one way to feel that you have some sense of control during this challenging time.

Find ways to trim your personal and household budgets now. This is getting yourself into financial shape, just as an athlete trains for a big athletic event. The athlete doesn't wait until the day of the contest to get ready.  They train for months or years so they're in peak condition. That's what we all have to do with our expenses. From the easy daily tasks to the more far-reaching, it's up to each of us to get as much control of our own financial habits as we can. Create your own saving money plan!

EVERYDAY ACTIONS
1. Begin keeping a record of everything you spend. Especially cash. You've got to know where your money is going. Cash slips through our fingers easily. Carry a little notebook with you to record cash expenditures. No matter how small.  Know where all your money goes. Track your debit and credit card charges. Categorize it: Utilities, groceries, insurance, entertainment, education, etc. Divide your category list into the necessary and the flexible.
2. Prioritize what's important to you. Most people don't do this. Is going out to eat once a week really important to you, more important than other things you might be willing to do without? Is your gym club membership vital to your well-being? Is your hobby something that's still affordable? How about the car you drive? It's now fashionable to be frugal. Instead of keeping up with the Jones family, (who may now be in foreclosure) now we're all bragging about how much we've figured out to save.  The pressure to live beyond your means is a thing of the past. Are you so overextended that you are at that point where you've got to take desperate measures?
3. Negotiate everything. Get comfortable asking for discounts or price reductions whenever you buy. See a button loose on the piece of clothing you like? As for a discount on it. The key to this is to be willing to say, "The marked price is not worth it to me with this flaw." And be willing to take it back. Most of the time you'll get a break on the price. On larger purchases, for anything, always bargain. Just say, "For me to buy that today, I've just got to be able to have a little lower price. What can you do for me?"  You can play this two ways. You can tell them what you want to pay, or see what they say first. If you wait until they tell you what they can do, you know how motivated they are to make the sale. Never be embarrassed about this. You're offering to be a customer.
4. Convert to automatic payment plans. For any recurring bill you have, ask if you can save money by switching to an automatic credit card charge or checking account debit. Many companies will reduce the monthly bill or give you a free month. They know they have greater customer retention if they can get you on an automatic payment system.
5. Skip the daily gourmet coffee. Even if your habit is plain brew, you'll save $10 a week..that's is if you count just weekdays. That's 40 bucks a month. Or change from your fancy designer drink down to just the plain cup of coffee. It's about the same savings.
6. Shop for groceries more frequently.  This has two advantages: You'll  waste less food because things won't spoil in your refrigerator. Plus by shopping more often, you'll be more familiar with the prices and take advantage of specials. I've just started doing this in the last two months and I've been amazed at the savings.
7. Use coupons.  Look for the supermarket coupons that reduce the entire bill, rather than a few cents off on individual products. Coupons are becoming more common now from other kinds of businesses. My car repair shop is now sending them out. Use them.
8. Join a supermarket rewards club. It does make a difference.  In the northwest, both Safeway and Fred Meyer have reward plans.
9. Compare prices between stores on items you buy often.  Trader Joe's has significantly lower prices on several items I like. Or try the low-priced grocery chains such as Winco Foods.
10. Compare ready-to cook entrée prices with what it would cost to make it yourself. Sometimes it is cheaper to buy the ready-to-cook item when you consider the cost of all the ingredients you need to buy. The locally owned health food store in the Portland area, New Seasons, has great prepared entrées for good prices.
12. Keep your tires inflated. It'll increase your mileage by about 5%.
12. Explore joining  Costco, and go to one that has gas. It's 10 cents a gallon cheaper on average. Make sure you'll have more savings than the annual membership. Everyday household products are a lot cheaper there. One tip: always go in with a specific list and stick to it. It's very easy to spend more than you intended because you're enamored with the prices.
13. Turn down the heat one more degree.
14. Trim your cable,  satellite bill, or internet bill. Know what you're really paying for. It's usually easy to trim $10-20 off your bill. Play vendors against each other. It's competitive business, and they want to keep you. Check to see if newer competitive services are available in your area such as Fios or Clearwire.
15. Cancel your hard line phone. Unless you need a fax machine,  you can probably make do with your cell phone. About 25% of Americans already do.
16. Educate yourself about the economy and personal finances. There are many websites that offer free, timely information.. Check out cnnmoney.com

BIGGER ITEMS
1. Trade down to a car you can afford.  If your car payment is a burden, consider selling it and trading down for a car that you can pay cash for. Cars are depreciating assets. Don't tie up your money in them.  If you have three cars can you make do with two? If you have two can you go down to one? If you live in a downtown area, can you eliminate having a car entirely? Check out car sharing plans such as Zipcar.
2. Watch the mortgage rates. Rates are coming down. Refinancing at a rate where you can save real money may soon be an option if you have good credit.

INVEST IN YOURSELF
This may seem contrary to saving money.  But now is the time to upgrade your marketable skills. You can save money here and there, but the best thing you can do is to keep your job, get a promotion, or find ways to make money outside of your regular job.

Take a class in something that will give you a new, usable skill. Learn how to use another piece of software. Get another professional certification. Improve your presentation skills. Your  local community college is filled with these kinds of classes.  Here's a list of community colleges by state. Check it out!

(Have a good way to save money that you'd like to share? Post a comment! If you like this blog, tell your friends about it!)

Making Love Last
I've been married a long time. I know I'm lucky.  My husband, Steve, is kind, funny, loving, and a great father. He accepts me for who I am. He is also a very wise person. These qualities made me fall in love with him when I was just 23 years old. (ok, he wasn't a father then, but I anticipated he'd be a great dad)  People ask us, "What's the secret to a long marriage?"

Here are my thoughts about  this. A top ten list if you will to a happy relationship, with no qualifications other than living them and observing them as best as I can.

Top 10 list of having a long and happy marriage

1. Marry the right person. Seriously. This is not a flip remark. How many people do you know who were or are in relationships and you're just shaking your head?  Listen to your friends and family if they don't like the person you're with. They've known you a long time, better than the person you're seeing. They see your lover with unvarnished eyes, not the love/lust tinted glasses you're seeing them through. If your best friend hates the man or woman you're with...run.

2. See your spouse for who they are, not what you think they are.  Marriages fail often because one person projected who they wanted their spouse to be..without regard for who they really are. Then at some point they realize their partner is really somebody else entirely. I know a couple where the woman married, thinking that the man she was marrying would become a rich businessman. How she thought this is a mystery, since when they met the man was wearing tie-dye shirts and barely making over minimum wage. Twenty years later he's STILL wearing tie-dye shirts and failing miserably at trying to run a small business. They're getting divorced. She never saw him for who he was. (and neither did he)

3. Appreciate positive traits, accept the weaknesses. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. We can choose which one we focus on in our partners. You can dwell on the flaws and have them drive you crazy, or feel grateful for the positive traits...the ones you fell in love with. The next time you feel like your spouse is annoying you, just stop and decide to simply appreciate their good qualities.

4. Say you're sorry.  Occasionally you're going to fight. Have misunderstandings. Be the one to say you're sorry. Even if you're still mad. Even if you think you're right. You can still say, "I'm sorry we fought."  Which is more important to you--to be happy or to be right?

5. Show your love every day. Small things matter. You don't have to give or receive a dozen roses every day. It's the small things that show the other person that you are thinking of them. My husband makes a healthy dinner for me because he knows I work long days and I'm tired when I get home. He knows I want to eat healthy meals.  He gets dinner ready for us so I don't have to cook on the weekdays.  I carefully put my hangers back in the closet after I get dressed in the bathroom in the morning because I know it bothers him to have the hangers clinging to the bath racks all day.  I flatten the milk cartons for the recycling bin the way he likes it done, when really, I could care less. He notices and says thank you. Small things.

6. Have realistic expectations.  It's not your spouse's sole responsibility to make you a happy person. You have to have the attitude, the love, the self respect, to be happy within yourself first.  Your relationship will be better when you are more fulfilled within yourself. Decide to be happy.

7. Talk.  Have actual conversations with your spouse.  Not just about the bills, the kids, or gossip. Talk about your dreams. Talk about what's going on with them.  Talk about current events, about your spiritual lives. Each of you will continue to grow as individuals. Don't be the one to wake up one day and realize you don't know who your spouse is anymore.

8. Tell the truth.  A successful relationship has to be built on trust. You can't have trust if there's lying and deceit. Deceit is omitting the truth too, not just boldly telling a lie. No matter how small. 

9. Have couple time. This is hard when kids are small. You're so focused just on parenting. But those kids will grow up--a lot faster than you think--and they'll be gone. Your spouse will still be there.  Have dates, have time alone after the kids go to bed. Do fun things together. Just hang out.

10. Know that time is fleeting. Every day is a gift. None of us knows how long we have in this life. Don't go to bed mad. Don't leave each other mad in the morning. It could be the last time you see your spouse alive. It's not a maudlin thought--it's recognizing that every moment matters. Do you want your last words to each other to be words of anger or of love?

Now go hug your wife, or your husband, or your partner, and your kids. Tell them you love them. And tell them every day.

(Do you have your own thoughts on making love last? Post a comment! If you like this blog, tell your friends about it!)

Intention is Everything
People want to know what the ultimate secret is to achieving their goals.  It isn't the particular skills, the contacts, or the strategy that you develop. That comes later. It's your complete INTENTION to achieve your stated goal. This is true whether you want to quit smoking, lose weight, change careers, or become a world-famous filmmaker. (hold that thought)

What is intention?
Intention is knowing in your heart that you are dedicated to the outcome. That it's right, that it's in harmony with your nature, your essence,  and your destiny. That you will succeed no matter what. You believe fully, with your whole being, that you will succeed. Once you are in that place, nothing can stop you. From there, all the goal setting, the skill development, your strategies, will follow. You are in the zone. And you can't force intention.  If you find yourself trying to force intention, it won't work. Something is wrong--you either aren't ready to go forward for whatever reason, or what you're trying to do is simply not right for you.  

George Lucas had it right. Remember the scene in Star Wars when Luke fails  to lift his jet out of the swamp using only the power of his mind?  Master Yoda then does it effortlessly.  A dumbfounded Luke gasps, "I don't believe it."  And Yoda wisely replies, "That is why you failed."  (proving you can find truth in unlikely places)

Trying Isn't Good Enough
You can tell when people don't have the intention to succeed. It's easy to spot. They say, "I'm going to try to quit smoking."  I'm going to try  to lose weight."   Try to start a business. TRY is the key word here. "Try" reveals doubt. The person does not fully believe they will achieve their goal.  The "try" people usually say this with a slump in their shoulders.  You know right away that person is not going to make it.

Compare that with the people who stand up confidently and state, "I'm going to quit smoking."  "I'm going to lose 20 pounds by summer." Better yet, they speak in the present tense: "I'm a non-smoker." "I run marathons." They believe it. You believe it. They do it.  Remember what else Yoda says? "Do or do not. There is no try." 

Film Rat to Famous Filmmaker
I have a memorable story that demonstrates this. Years ago I worked as a publicist for what was then called the Northwest Film Study Center.The non-profit promoted independent filmmakers. One day a young man came to the office. He was dressed poorly, and his hair was disheveled and shaggy. He nearly looked like one of the homeless people in the neighborhood.  But he marched right up to me and stated, "I'm a film director."  He handed me a business card that said, "Film director."  I knew his name. He had just finished a short black and white film.  I chatted with him for a minute, thinking of him as just another one of what we called the local "film rats."

But I was impressed by how confident he was. He didn't say, "I'm trying to become a film director." He said "I AM a film director." And he had a business card stating it. None of other film rats did that.

The name of that guy is Gus Van Sant. The now world-famous, award-winning film director, Gus Van Sant.  

What's Your Intention?
Take a moment to examine the level of your intentions. Are you at the "try"  level or the "I'm already there" level? Once your intention is clear, the path to achieving your goal will be clear too. It will be as though it's already done.


(Have your own story about trying vs. intention? Post a comment!  If you like this blog, tell your friends and associates about it.)

Birthday Reflections
Today is my birthday. (hold the confetti) I won't say how old I am, just that for those of you who work in media, I'm not that far away from being out of the key demo!  Old enough to have already lost friends to heart attacks, to know several women who are survivors of breast cancer. I'm now buying all those anti-wrinkle products. Man, those people are making a fortune on the boomers and "cuspers!"  I feel so lucky to be here happy and healthy.

The Life You Have is Not by Accident
I'm sitting here looking out my home office window to a pastoral scene. Tall fir trees line our property. There's a covey of California quails that gather right outside my window, eating the birdseed that falls from the feeders on the deck. I always laugh at how the quail move with the little tufts sprouting from their heads bouncing back and forth.  I love the sound of the red-tailed hawks overhead, the baying of the neighbor's sheep, that I can walk up the road and pet a horse's soft nose.

We live here because I always wanted to live in the country, not unlike where I grew up. I love how peaceful it is. It's good for the soul. This wasn't our first house. We bought another one first when we couldn't find property we could afford. Then 9 years later..after looking for two years, we bought this place. It  was the property we loved. The house..well, let's just say that we had to replace the red velveteen wallpaper and the gold shag carpet.... just to start. But I love it. And it's no accident that we're here.

Everything in life is like that.

Sometimes you have to take stock.
As I reflect over the past year, (because my birthday is in January, it goes hand in hand with the whole New Year's Resolutions thing) I'm happy that I've made small changes that make a big difference in the quality of my life.

I now drive my daughter to school instead of having her take the bus. The ten minutes I get to spend with her in the car actually talking to a teenager is worth so much more than the ten minutes I lose at the office. I think about that adage, "No one on their death bed ever said, 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office'."

When I am at the office, I have felt such gratitude this past year to work with such an amazing, creative group of people.  They're dedicated, fun, and so talented. It's a joy to work with them, even in the most difficult times. I'm making a point to appreciate that. I hope I express that enough to them.

I committed to taking better care of my health. Taking vitamins daily. (I really hate pills, so this is a major big deal for me.) I made a commitment  to exercising 4 times a week. Losing weight. I feel better already than I have in a long time. I'll be able to backpack this summer, something I love to do.

I committed to studying and improving public speaking, one of my passions. I decided to share my thoughts to a wider audience by launching this and my other new website, rightnowcommunications.com.

Start Your Mornings Right
Our daily attitude begins first thing in the morning.  If things go wrong right away it's hard to recuperate. So wake up each morning with the attitude of,  "Today is a Great Day!"  

Do small things to make you feel good. When you feel good you're better able to manage the challenges of the day.  Wait to turn on the morning news until you feel centered.  You don't need to hear about the troubled economy and bombs going off as your very first thing to start your morning.

Jump start your attitude
My daughter listens to music she likes when she wakes up. I like stretching, meditating, or lighting scented candles in the bathroom while I'm getting dressed.

Here are a few ideas on little things you can do to start your day right:

• Listen to music you enjoy.
• Light scented candles in the bathroom
• Close your eyes and sit quietly, meditating for a few minutes
• Stretch
• Write a note to put in your kid's lunch box on how much you love them
• Give your kid a hug when they wake up. No matter how hold they are.
• Exercise
• Spend a few minutes reading spiritual material that speaks to you
• Tell your spouse one thing you appreciate about them
• Look out the window at the trees.
• Look at a photo of one of your favorite vacations or funny moments
• Use your favorite perfume, or for men, your favorite mens cologne

Then say, "This is going to be a great day."  You'll be amazed at the difference this makes in how you feel just getting out the door to face the day!

(Share what you do to start your day right! Post a comment. If you like this blog, tell your friends and acquaintances!)

Take Action Now
Right Now Power is simply this.  Whenever you want to change something in your life or achieve a goal, you have to do specific actions. Every day. Right now. When we procrastinate, we find ourselves facing the same business issues, making the same New Year's resolutions every year,  feeling the same frustrations that we don't have the life we want.

Often we have goals that take years to fully realize. Yet every day there is an action that is moving us toward that goal. An Olympic athlete did not achieve that level of performance in their first year of learning their sport. They choose specific skills to work on each year, each month, each week, each day. 

Right Now TIme Management
Right Now Power is key to effective time management. We spin our wheels with interruptions and long to-do lists. What we need to do is ask ourselves the question, "What do I need to do RIGHT NOW that is the most effective use of my time in achieving my goals or my company's goals?"

Your Right Now list at work will consist of just a few vital things to focus on. They might include:

The Right Now Big Picture List

• Leading and motivating staff
• Sales development
• Customer service
• New product development.

These are big areas. You need to break it down into smaller actions that are more specific to the outcome:

Breaking it Down

• Personal contact with every person who reports to me at least once a day
• Meet with each of my supervisors for at least 30 minutes once a week
• Attend 90% of client functions throughout year
• Take 5 biggest clients to lunch at least once per quarter

Then you'll have a right now list for every day that might include actions like this:

The Right Now List

• Have staff brainstorm meeting on goal X
• Meet with supervisor-review project  Y
• Submit proposal on project Z
• Attend evening client function and ask for meeting with 3 new prospects
• Confirm lunch date with Big client A

Write it Down!
You should always have your goals in writing.  Goals must be written with specific measurable results with a specific time line ie:  "Sell $50,000 of new business by February 28, 2009."

In addition to your specific goals, write down your Right Now Big Picture list too. This will keep you on track, focusing on the areas that will lead you to achieving that goal. Your daily to-do list should grow from that.


Comments welcome. Post your opinions and insights. If you'd like more help with time management, check out my NEW website www.rightnowcommunications.com

Hope and Optimism Wins
My daughter is in D.C. right now with a group of other high school students for this historic inauguration. At 7 AM our phone pierced our quiet morning. I rose from a deep sleep  (it is the weekend after all) to to hear her screaming with unintelligible but joyful words. In the background I heard a cackle of young people and the wind blasting the cellphone. I had to ask her to slow down three times so I could understand her.

"I saw him! I saw Obama! I saw Obama! Like I was 20 feet away!" she screamed.

I've never heard my kid so excited. Not even when the cutest guy in school asked her out. Her group was visiting the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and Obama was driving by in his limo. (did you hear they call his vehicle "The Beast" for all its super capabilities?) Obama had rolled the window down and was waving to the crowds just yards away. What a thrill!

RIght now the streets of D.C. are already packed with people from all over our country as well as citizens of countries from around the world who have traveled here to witness these moments.  Why?

Because this individual has given us hope. His optimisim won him the presidency.  His can-do, MUST-do message sang across this nation and into the wells of millions of Americans hearts. And we answered, "He's right. Yes. We can."

But it's  not all up to our president. He is only one guy. It's yes WE can. It's his attitude that we should all emulate. It is going to take that.

Staying Positive Matters
Every one of us needs to stay positive. Our collective consciousness of possibility, of remaking our future for ourselves, our familes, and our country is what will generate the ideas and the innovation that will bring great things to all of us. That is what is at stake.  No matter what field you work in, staying positive about our future, about change, is what will bring forth the ideas we need. We will reinvent ourselves, our businesses, our country. That is what is at stake. It's not business as usual. There has never been a more exciting time!

Remember this when you look at your "201K."  I just did that, and like everyone else I felt a hole in my stomach. But think of this. Whatever that number is...it is still a whole lot more than what most people in the world have. Way more.  Think of it when you look at your dismal business numbers. Ask what can I do differently? How can I look at this differently?

The other day I was talking to someone about being positive, who shared my optimism, when we were interrupted by another man who groaned, "We'll never have the same worth as we did. It's over. We'll be working until we're dead." Gee, did Eyore just show up? I replied, "I don't accept that."  My positive thinking buddy chimed in, "We can't think that way."   Guess which attitude is going to contribute more to a winning outcome?

What are YOU Made of?
There certainly will be challenges ahead. But this is the time when we all get to ask ourselves, "What are we made of?"  Be the one who answers, "Yes, I can."

(Share your own story of optimism. Post a comment or email me at brenda@liveyourbetterlife.com)

It's That Time Again
A new  year. Have you made any New Year's resolutions? Many people don't, admitting that  they never keep them so they no longer bother. Or we have the same list every year. We give good efforts for a few weeks, then our good intentions wane. Our resolutions collect dust until the calendar changes again then we drag out that same dog-eared list, hoping that this year will be different.

What do we need to do to actually succeed? Here's the real question that we need to ask ourselves.

What's Holding You Back?
There are powerful reasons, maybe not logical ones, but compelling reasons, why we end up abandoning our goals. Until we answer this key question, we're doomed to merely attempt yet not succeed at our goals.  We say we want to lose weight, make more money, clean out the garage, learn another language, or go to the gym more often.  Why aren't we?  There are obstacles in our way and we have to acknowledge them and deal with them as part of our strategy of success.

Let's take losing weight, because that's on so many people's lists.

Common Obstacles
Here are a few common reasons why losing weight is so hard.
No time to cook
No time to work out
Really like fat and sugar
Don't know how to eat right
Hate exercise
Love to eat
Fat gives emotional protection from the outside world
Being fat is easier

Some of these have simple logistical answers on the face of it. Take my personal favorite, no time to work out.  This is a legitimate reason in my life. I work a lot. I hate working out in the morning before work; 5:30 in the morning is way too early for my body to work out, and that's my writing time. The thought of schlepping myself to the gym after working 11 hours just didn't seem like something I wanted to do either.  But I also had to acknowledge that plenty of very busy people still find time to work out. Condoleesa Rice is on the treadmill at 5 AM.  Obama is getting his workouts in.

Real Obstacles
So clearly I can't use this as an excuse. What's the real obstacle? The real obstacle was I just didn't want to add another obligation to my already busy day. That was an interesting revelation.  But  knowing that was the real obstacle allowed me to deal with it. I had to give myself  reasons to make it a positive experience, and one that I could commit to reliably.

Here's what I've done for the past month. (I got a head start before the New Year. Why wait?) I work out four times a week. Twice on the weekend;  time is less of an issue then. Twice a week I go directly to the gym from work.  I realized I could not go home first. The temptation to hunker down would be too great.  Do not pass go, so to speak. I meet my husband and teenage daughter there. I'm fortunate that they also wanted to be working out more. Meeting them there gives me another reason to keep the commitment. No way am I going to be the one to bail out! I pick a treadmill right in front of the TV's so I can watch CNN. I love watching the news, so I can actually look forward to this. But  the best part is I take a sauna after I work out. This is my immediate reward.  All these things together are helping me deal with that true obstacle which basically was... I just didn't want to do it.

What's your real obstacle?
So ask yourself..whether you're beginning a new venture, wanting to learn something new, or taking care of yourself..what's your real obstacle?



(Have a New Year's resolution and some great strategies to succeed? Post a comment!)

My Dog Ate My Homework...
Last week Oregon had record snowfall, a full foot or more. For people who panic at a dusting of an inch of snow, this created complete havoc.  I was blessedly on vacation on the heaviest snowfall day, which only  meant I wasn't scheduled to be at the office.  Which was a good thing.

You know how sometimes you wake up just because you sense something is wrong? At six in the morning I woke to that odd sensation. There was too much light in our bedroom. Someone had to be shining headlights into our driveway. And where was my husband? I then realized the room was freezing and the furnace hadn't turned on. I heard banging noises in the basement. My hub, the man who can fix anything, was undoubtedly trying to get the furnace going. That didn't explain the lights outside or the strange scraping noise coming from the road.

I pulled up the blinds to see a sight difficult to comprehend given that we live on a tiny dead-end rural road.  A huge semi-trailer had jackknifed directly in front of our driveway. The rear wheels rose completely off the ground, the front jammed into the woods that line the road. It completely blocked our driveway. I mumbled out loud, "This can't be good."

I shuffled downstairs where my husband sat, greasy and sweaty, with a pile of tools in front of our 40-year old furnace. "What's up with the truck outside?" I asked.

He scowled up at me. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm trying to fix this. "

Okaay.  He'll find out soon enough. And I did want the furnace to be fixed.  I traipsed back upstairs to get dressed and investigate. I thought how glad I was that didn't have to get to work that day.  It would sound like the, "My dog ate my homework," excuse.

I heard the furnace rumble on.  My husband is my hero.

Country Living
We live in a unique area. Although we're only twenty minutes from the city of Portland, it's rural. Several of our neighbors are descendants of the original homesteaders. They have 80-acre tracts and their families have lived there for over 100 years. At the end of our little road the original log home of one of the families still stands, a tiny structure with a floor space little bigger than the square footage of a king sized bed. Our road is named after another family who still lives there. Their sprawling property has three homes; the original home and two others for the grown kids,  their kids, and grandchildren.  Plus they have vineyard and a small logging operation. Which brings me to the jackknifed truck.

This family sells firewood. Gary buys up wood, cuts it into firewood, and sells it all over the state. He transports it in semi-trucks.  Semi-trucks are not good snow vehicles. Especially when the grown son driving neglects to put on chains.  He got stuck while going up the road, in the direction of the dead-end, at 1:30 in the morning. That explains how the event occurred, without all the colorful language from father to son.

With the front of the truck facing away from the road's access, this posed a problem. How would a tow truck get in to pull it out?

This is where having a unique neighborhood is a blessing. Another neighbor (there are only 8 homes on the road) owns an exercise equipment company. His estate, complete with helicopter pad, boasts a long private drive. On the backside of his property is an orchard with another gravel road that goes to another dirt road that leads to a paved public road. Got that?  If  his driveway intersected with the orchard road, and that could be plowed, that could be the route for the tow truck.  Fortunately, they did. He immediately gave permission for access, and Gary brought out his tractor to plow a path. It's really convenient to have your own snowplow. I now have snowplow envy.

Meantime, my husband and I discovered that our internet access was not working either. Living in the country, where there is no DSL, we get our access from a line-of-sight tower from a nearby hill. The truck was positioned directly in the line-of-sight.  This posed more issues.  I attempted to access work on line because the staffer I'd put in charge of covering for me was stuck at his house with a broken pipe, with water all over his townhouse, waiting for the plumber to arrive.

Not only was I trapped physically, I couldn't work remotely either.  I  was sure I was the only person who ever said, "I can't get this done because a semi-truck is blocking my internet access." I thought about that little log home up the road. The family who lived there may have frozen their butts off in the winter but at least they weren't crippled by not having their internet access work.

Safety First
Mid-morning arrived and all the neighbors hiked out to survey the scene. For folks who had already been housebound due to  the heavy snowfall for several days, it became a social event.  We got caught up on family news. The mail carrier arrived and personally handed out  mail to everyone since he couldn't get to the mailboxes. A line of men formed in the truck and on the ground to unload all the firewood from the truck to lighten the load. They heaved from one set of hands to another, tossing the logs into a pile. A mountain of firewood formed on our front lawn. 

A roar came from the distance, and a massive red tow truck lumbered down the road, having successfully traveled the circuitous route in.  The owner, a grizzled older man with sparkling eyes, and a younger man, surveyed the situation.  "This isn't safe," the grizzled man announced, looking with alarm at the men in the truck unloading the wood as the truck tilted to the side.

They hooked up an elaborate cabling system, connecting the stuck semi to the tow truck and to two of our trees to stablize it until all the wood was unloaded.  Gary sighed. Safety cost $500 an hour.  My husband reminded him that if someone got crushed it would cost a lot more.

Finally, late in the afternoon, the tow truck yanked the semi from the woods and our driveway. The temperature had risen, and large chunks of snow fell from the fir trees. The snow and ice softened on the road.  Our internet access returned. Things felt like they were returning to normal.

Community
Now the snows are nearly gone. Oregon is having more predictable weather, which here means incessant rain, what we charmingly call, "Oregon sunshine." Our next challenge will be the high winds and flooding that will undoubtedly occur on the low farmlands that lead to our road.  We're prepared for the power outages that come when trees blow down over the power lines. We know that our road will be the last one to get power restored because there are so few of us. Then we and our neighbors will check on each other to make sure we've got enough gas for the generators we all have to get us through days without power. We'll laugh and trade stories together about our hardships.

I'm glad to be part of the adventure!

(Have a snow story of your own? Post your comment!)

Find Someone who Energizes You
You have a project, a goal, a big and crazy idea that  you think might work. Your enthusiasm is bursting from the seams! But the road to success is a process, sometimes a long one. Not everyone in your life--family, co-workers, friends, acquaintances-- shares your unbridled enthusiasm.  They may not have the same ability to visualize as you do. Or the project is just out of their experience or understanding. And there are those who are just negative thinkers, who can't imagine someone they know coming up with a big idea and making it happen. Maybe your project isn't even that huge, it's just important to you. You want to get commit to an exercise program or lose weight. Finally build a shop in the garage. Make some change in your life. If if it's important to you, if it seems big to you, that's all that matters.

You need a synergy buddy!

Part cheerleader, part coach
A synergy buddy plays a unique role in your life. They are part cheerleader, part coach, part reality checker.  The biggest quality is that they believe in you. They have a positive, you-can-do-it attitude. They'll give honest feedback with sound reasons. A good synergy buddy has something they're working on too. You're a synergy buddy for them as well. A good synergy buddy relationship  works for both people with even give and take. Together you share your goals, your plans for achieving. Your synergy buddy might be your work-out partner. They motivate you to get out of bed in the dark to meet them for a run because you know they'll be waiting for you. You motivate them to do the same.  Synergy buddies are writers who critique each other's scripts, aspiring actors who encourage each other through endless auditions, entrepreneurs who share business plans, and friends who go to their weekly Weight Watchers meetings together.

Where are they?
A synergy buddy is sometimes a friend already in your circle. Often though, just as with finding a mentor, it's someone you have to bring into your life. Synergy buddies for your professional life are found in professional organizations and through networking. Find someone who is about at your same level in their work. This is different than a mentor. A mentor has already made it. You need them too. But your synergy buddy is someone who is walking in your shoes right now.  They understand your challenges right now.

I've found synergy buddies in writer's groups, professional organizations, and at work.  Begin talking to people.  Be aware if you feel a connection with them, if you like their energy.   Then make a working lunch appointment or set up a  phone call. DIscuss what kind of feedback each of you are looking for and how you can help each other. You're on your way to building a synergy buddy relationship!


(Share some of your synergy buddy stories. Post a comment!)