The Foolproof Way of Making Decisions
Listen to Your Heart
The most important lesson I've learned so far in life is to pay attention to what your heart says. Every time I have ignored this, it's been a mistake. Only one simple question is needed when facing a decision. It's this: "Is the answer an enthusiastic YES?" If it's not...then every other answer you come up with is ultimately...NO.
Think about this. We wrestle with making a life decision. We just can't decide what to do. That's a no. We're not sure. That's a no. We go back and forth. That's a no. We make pro and con lists, and the list keeps changing. That's a no. Until you get to the point where it feels right and you're ready to go forward...it's a no.
Listen to other people when they're talking about their lives, and you'll see this in action. A friend can't decide if she wants a baby. Another is not sure about a new relationship she's in. Another is wondering if she should leave a long-time relationship. Yet another is considering selling their house and moving to another neighborhood or city. It's the big decisions that keep us up at night.
Feel the physical sensation
Your body will give you a physical message in this process. Most people feel it in their chest. If your chest is tight, your breathing restricted...that's a big fat no. If it feels open and free...you're on the right track.
I had to relearn this lesson a year ago when I made a major decision about changing careers. It was a logical decision that I'd spent a lot of time preparing for. I began to go forward. It didn't feel right. I kept going, telling myself that I just had to adjust to the change. It felt worse. I told myself that I was just in a period of adjustment, that I was coping with the fear of change. It felt even worse. My breathing was shallow and tight, I had a that constricted sensation in my chest. My body was trying to get my attention.
This went on for a full month...at which point I realized if this was the right decision then after a month I would be feeling better about it. I asked myself the question..is this an enthusiastic yes? Nothing told me it was, in spite of my desire to make a change at that time...nothing about the course I'd set told me it was the right change. It was clearly no. A really big no. In fact, when I really thought about it, I realized I'd been actively pushing against everything that defined who I am to try and make it happen. I ended up asking myself the question, "What on earth am I thinking?"
I was fortunate that I was able to undo the decision, and events transpired that made my work situation much better.
Ask yourself these questions when you face decisions. If you pay attention to your heart you will always make the right choice.
(Comment on this piece and make suggestions for other topics you would like to read about!)
The most important lesson I've learned so far in life is to pay attention to what your heart says. Every time I have ignored this, it's been a mistake. Only one simple question is needed when facing a decision. It's this: "Is the answer an enthusiastic YES?" If it's not...then every other answer you come up with is ultimately...NO.
Think about this. We wrestle with making a life decision. We just can't decide what to do. That's a no. We're not sure. That's a no. We go back and forth. That's a no. We make pro and con lists, and the list keeps changing. That's a no. Until you get to the point where it feels right and you're ready to go forward...it's a no.
Listen to other people when they're talking about their lives, and you'll see this in action. A friend can't decide if she wants a baby. Another is not sure about a new relationship she's in. Another is wondering if she should leave a long-time relationship. Yet another is considering selling their house and moving to another neighborhood or city. It's the big decisions that keep us up at night.
Feel the physical sensation
Your body will give you a physical message in this process. Most people feel it in their chest. If your chest is tight, your breathing restricted...that's a big fat no. If it feels open and free...you're on the right track.
I had to relearn this lesson a year ago when I made a major decision about changing careers. It was a logical decision that I'd spent a lot of time preparing for. I began to go forward. It didn't feel right. I kept going, telling myself that I just had to adjust to the change. It felt worse. I told myself that I was just in a period of adjustment, that I was coping with the fear of change. It felt even worse. My breathing was shallow and tight, I had a that constricted sensation in my chest. My body was trying to get my attention.
This went on for a full month...at which point I realized if this was the right decision then after a month I would be feeling better about it. I asked myself the question..is this an enthusiastic yes? Nothing told me it was, in spite of my desire to make a change at that time...nothing about the course I'd set told me it was the right change. It was clearly no. A really big no. In fact, when I really thought about it, I realized I'd been actively pushing against everything that defined who I am to try and make it happen. I ended up asking myself the question, "What on earth am I thinking?"
I was fortunate that I was able to undo the decision, and events transpired that made my work situation much better.
Ask yourself these questions when you face decisions. If you pay attention to your heart you will always make the right choice.
(Comment on this piece and make suggestions for other topics you would like to read about!)



O Wise Woman - what a delight to hear your heart on the page -
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