A Late-Night Knock on the Door
The night before Halloween someone rang our doorbell after midnight. We live in a rural area. No one comes by unexpectedly, let alone late at night. My husband opened the door to find the county sheriff asking when we'd last seen the neighbor across the road.

Our neighbor, Jacob, lived alone. He was a nice man who kept to himself, in his mid-fifties. We'd see him occasionally when we'd get the mail or take a walk and we would chat with him about goings-on in the area and current events. He said nice things about others, a live-and-let-live kind of guy. But in the ten years or so that he'd lived next to us, we'd never once seen anyone visit him.

My husband told the sheriff we hadn't seen him in a couple of weeks, but that wasn't unusual. The sheriff said Jacob's mother in another state had called the sheriff, worried. She hadn't been able to reach him for a few days and she knew he wasn't out of town.  No one had answered the door. They were going to break into the house

They entered the home and found him passed away inside. Alone. He'd put his garbage out Monday, so he probably passed away sometime Monday night or Tuesday. He wasn't found until early Friday morning.  I was heartbroken to think of this man dying all alone.

A Premonition
Only a week before I'd said to my husband, 'You know, Jacob is the kind of guy who could pass away in his house and no one would know for days or weeks."  My husband reminded me that I'd said this. He didn't have to remind me. As soon as the sheriff came calling, I remembered those chilling words.

I'd said them a few days after I'd stopped by his house, but he hadn't answered his door. I noticed that his property, which was never kept up, looked worse than usual. I wondered how anyone could live like that.  I had a passing thought that maybe I should call him.  I wasn't sure what I'd say. So I didn't call.

He was still alive at that point. I saw him pulling in and out of his driveway since that day.  But I did have an undefined instinct that something was wrong...or was going to go wrong. Could I have done anything for him? I don't know. I don't even know what caused his death. The police only told us he didn't die by an intruder's violence.  Still, I think I should called. Because I think I was the only one who had an inkling that something wasn't right.

Check on People Who Live Alone
This awful incident got me thinking about the people I know who live alone. A close colleague  told me once that she knew that if she didn't show up for work, I'd notice. I'd call. I would, of course, but after this incident I also realized I needed more information than just her phone number.  How would I get into the house if she didn't answer? Who would I call if there was an emergency?

We think about checking on family members and neighbors who are elderly. But we need to check on everyone who lives alone. Ask them for phone numbers of people they'd want called in an emergency. People fall down steps, they have heart attacks.

Those of you who read this blog regularly know I usually write upbeat, motivational pieces.  But this event saddened me deeply. No one should die alone and lie there for days before the sheriff breaks into the house.


(Share more thoughts you have about how to take care of the people around you. Post a comment or email me at brenda@liveyourbetterlife.com)